Elissien Nimithil
by Isilarato
Summary: UPDATED-'Endgame'-When two people love, they risk their hearts for one another. When the daughter of Elrond and her father’s seneschal love, the risks are far more complicated…
1. Where My Heart Sings

Where My Heart Sings  
  
Author: Isilaráto  
  
Disclaimer: 'Lord of the Rings' and 'Sailor Moon' are property of their respective owners. I make no claim of ownership. No copyright infringement intended.  
  
Summary: The heart sings when it returns to the home it had been parted from so long ago…  
  
Status: Complete  
  
Part: 1/1  
  
Note: Please be kind everyone! This is my first attempt at writing a crossover.  
  
Enjoy!  
  
  
  
The view before me is a wondrous thing to behold. This crystal city, forged by the silver light of another crystal, has been called the greatest piece of art ever to be created. They say there is nothing that can surpass its beauty. Made by the hands of the nine beautiful women and a handsome man, this city is their legacy, their everlasting gift to the world.  
  
I turn away, sighing softly. My heart aches as I remember the days of forming Crystal Tokyo. I remember feeling their thoughts, their spirits, all entwined with my own. But gone are those who also felt it.  
  
They're all gone. My beloved Senshi, my daughter, Endymion… by now, they have all faded into the mists of legend. People tell their children about them through bedtime stories. They speak of the valiant Senshi, the handsome King, his beautiful Queen, and their precious daughter. How they lived and ruled well together, and when they died, how the Queen nobly carried on to the next stage of what Destiny had planned for her, leaving behind those she loved most.  
  
Damn Destiny. When Destiny meddles in a person's life, they are cursed for all of their lives. I should know. As did Endymion. He knew because he was there that day. The day when Pluto came to both destroy me and give me hope…  
  
It was early in the reign of Crystal Tokyo. Small Lady hadn't even been born at the time. The world was still quite unstable due to the effects of the Great Sleep, and so earthquakes, hurricanes, and a host of other disasters wracked the planet. In an earthquake that nearly sent Japan to the bottom of the ocean, nearly half of Crystal Tokyo was destroyed, and with it, almost a quarter of the population. My parents and brother included.  
  
I was devastated. My parents and Shingo were gone. The last true representation of my childhood had been cruelly ripped from my grasp. My parents would never again see their granddaughter, nor would I ever see Shingo grow to have a family of his own.  
  
Any semblance of innocence that I had left in me was stolen that day. I became a bit of an automaton after that. It frightened Endymion and the Senshi, they had never seen me behave in such a manner. In the past, it was I who never gave up hope, no matter how bleak the situation. But here I was, continuing my duties, comforting the survivors of the disaster, burying my grief in the deepest shadows of my heart.  
  
Months passed like that, until I could go on no longer. I grew weaker and weaker as each day passed me by. I soon grew so feeble that I could not rise from my bed. Hotaru did her best to heal me, until she resorted to begging, hot tears streaming down her cheeks. Rei, alternately, berated me harshly, calling me selfish for giving up, that I should think of Endymion and Small Lady. But I just lay there, my eyes closed, tears leaking past my lids. I just… stopped.  
  
Then, late one night, as Endymion dozed by our bed, Pluto stepped out of the shadows. I don't know how I knew it was her, as I hadn't opened my eyes in days. But I somehow knew that she had entered the room. My eyes, stiff from being shut for so long, drifted open to see her standing at the foot of the bed.  
  
The first impression that I had was that the grip she held on the Time Staff was unusually tight. My gaze then drifted to her face and I was astounded. Gone was the neutral, calm expression that I had almost always seen from her. Now, her ruby eyes were glassy in the light provided by the nearby fire, her lips pressed together tightly. Her face was a mask of… guilt?  
  
Softly, I whispered her name. She jumped and our eyes locked. They held for a moment until she ended it by moving towards Endymion. Placing a gentle hand on his shoulder, she carefully shook him.  
  
His dark blue eyes shot open and he looked up at her blinkingly. "Setsuna," he said, shifting in his chair. "Why have you of come?"  
  
She did not answer him. Instead, she returned her gaze to mine. And she stood there. Breathily, I whispered her name again.  
  
Faintly, I heard Endymion gasp. He had not heard me speak in days, if not weeks. Pluto bit her lip, then seemed to nod slightly. Turning to Endymion, she ordered, "Take her up, Majesty. There is something I must show her. Come."  
  
Endymion appeared to want to argue, but I weakly waved my hand in his direction, hoping he would get the message. He must have, because he said nothing more, instead just lifting me securely into my arms. When he turned to Pluto, he found the Time Gate opening its massive doors.  
  
Pluto strode through, not bothering to look back. Endymion sighed tiredly, but followed.  
  
For a moment, we both felt the sense of feeling weightless before we found us in the fog-shrouded area where Pluto stood guard. Planting his feet but a few yards from the doors, Endymion demanded, "Pluto, explain yourself. Serenity is ill. She doesn't need to be constantly moved around. It could make her worse."  
  
Pluto shrugged, then replied. "What I am about to show her just might give her back something she has lost, my King. There is still much for her to endure in the future. You know this as well as I. Perhaps this will restore the hope that died with the Tsukinos."  
  
She said no more, merely raising the Time Staff and muttering something I did not recognize. The Time Gate responded immediately, letting forth a great burst of light.   
  
And my mind exploded. Images raced through my mind. Faces, places, knowledge that I had known very well, once upon a time.   
  
I saw a family in a bedroom of some sort. A woman, beautiful and radiant, was lying in a bed, holding a small bundle to her breast. A tall man… no he was not a man, nor was she a woman… they were *elves!* The pointed tips of their ears indicated this, much to my amazement. The male stood knelt next to the female, a look of pride in his eyes. And three others on the opposite side of the bed. Two males, most definitely younger than the other though still grown. Both had large, shining grins on their handsome faces. And the last figure, a female, exquisite in her awesome beauty, was smiling contentedly.  
  
Other images flew through my thoughts, singing a different message to me. I saw someone who appeared to be myself as a very young child, though my ears were pointed as the others. I was smiling happily as I raced down the hall of some sort of building. Suddenly, the young me tripped over a slight irregularity in the marble floor and toppled to the floor, bruising my knee. As the little girl cried, a shadow appeared over her crumpled form. Strong arms lifted her up and cradled her close. And at the same moment the little version of me looked up, I did the same. And there was the male elf from the earlier scene.  
  
Slowly, a watery smile blossomed on my past self's face. One word came out of her mouth. One word that echoed through the Time Gate and has reverberated in my own mind ever since.  
  
"Ada!"  
  
Ada. A word that should have been nothing but gibberish to me, was actually a remark so dear to my soul that I have clung to it. In my darkest hours, it is perhaps the only thing that has kept me alive. Though it is a word in a language that no one in Crystal Tokyo would ever recognize, I know its treasured meaning. Ada. Papa.  
  
Other names flooded my mind. Arwen. Elladan. Elrohir. My siblings. All born before me. Arwen toting me about our home as if I were her own child. Elladan bouncing me on his shoulders. Elrohir holding me quietly, seeming at a loss as to what to do with me, and yet loving me all the same. Grandmother and Grandfather. The Lord and Lady of Lothlórien. I recall being afraid of the power that radiated from their forms, burying my face in Ada's shoulder, clinging to him. Nana. Mama, who sang me to sleep nearly every night.  
  
Still, the most special of them all was Ada. Nana treasured each of her four children, but it was Ada who made me feel unique. His brown eyes, wise, stern, and yet gentle as a lamb at the same time. He showered us all with love, thoroughly spoiling us.  
  
But to all things, there is an end…  
  
I remember when the tall woman came. Ada and I were in his study, he dealing with his own important affairs and I working on the compositions he had assigned me to do. When she appeared, I remember seeing Ada's eyes widening in… was that fear I beheld in them? Almost immediately, I dismissed the notion. My ada was, in my eyes, the mightiest of Elves. He'd fought against the Cursed One, the evil of Mordor. No one had ever defeated him. Why would he fear anyone?  
  
Quietly, he told me to find Nana and tell her to join him quickly. I did not question him, sensing something about the strange woman that eyed me with emotions I could not discern. She frightened me far more than my grandparents ever did. So, I hurried out of the room, leaving Ada to either welcome the lady or banish her. I was all for the latter, in all honesty.  
  
That night, my world began to crumble around me. My rooms were next to those of Ada and Nana, as I was still quite young and had frequent nightmares. They had yet to move me to my own permanent rooms like Arwen or the twins.   
  
"No! I will not allow it!"  
  
I remember waking to those words, shouted in the gravest of anger. I remember the shock of such heat coming from my nana. She never used that tone with anyone.  
  
"Celebrían, Senshi Pluto says Elissien is crucial-"  
  
"I care not, *hir-nin.* My daughter is no warrior. I will not throw her to the four winds merely at the words of a woman I have never trusted. My child goes no where!"  
  
For a moment, no sound came from Ada and Nana's room. The silence, however, was not reassuring. Just as I was drifting into the Dream World, I believe I heard their voices again. They spoke in quieter tones, though the anger and pain of earlier had not dissipated. But I never knew what they spoke of to one another in those hours.  
  
The next morning, the destruction was completed. Ada insisted that our breakfast be a private one, consisting only of Nana, Arwen, Elladan, Elrohir, me, and himself. Midway through the meal, Ada, his face unusually emotionless and closed off, informed us of a change that would be occurring.  
  
"Senshi Pluto will be leaving soon. Elissien, you will be accompanying her."  
  
Stunned silence consumed the table. At first, I did not think much of it, believing that I was going with this 'Senshi Pluto' for a visit somewhere, like my siblings and I often did with Nana when we traveled to Lothlórien. I did not notice at the time the growing anger on faces of my older brothers, or the fleeting pain and panic on Arwen's.  
  
Airily, I asked, "For how long? When shall I come home?"  
  
I continued to eat the food before me, listening for Ada's response. After several moments, it did not come. Staying my hand that would continue to bring food to my mouth, I looked up to his place at the head of the table.  
  
His fist sat on the table, clenched tightly, and his gray eyes were shut, his expression clearly showing his agony. I remember concern flaring up in my heart. I was about to ask what was wrong, when Ada finally spoke.  
  
"You will be gone for a very long time, Elissien. I do not know when you will return."  
  
I blinked, confusion overtaking me. I glanced at Nana, but her gaze remained glued to the table as she gripped her goblet tightly. My gaze swept back to Ada. "But…"  
  
"You must do this, Elissien," he interrupted her, his eyes opening, revealing a coldness I had never seen directed at me. "You must accompany Senshi Pluto to this place she calls the Moon Kingdom. There, you will be welcomed as the Princess of that place. You will be known as the daughter of the Queen there, and must allow everyone to believe that this is so."  
  
I said nothing, though I felt my blood run cold. I was being sent away. Ada was angry and did not want me to be his daughter anymore. I bit my lip, feeling hot tears spring in my eyes. "A-Ada," I whispered, my voice trembling, "D-Did I do something wrong?"  
  
Ada did not have a chance to answer me. Nana let out a noise that sounded like both a moan and a sob as she reached over and whipped me into her lap. I clung to her as she wrapped her arms around me tightly. Nana's gown soaked up my tears just as surely as my own blond locks were becoming drenched in those of Nana's. Faintly, I could feel other arms slipping around me, enveloping me. Looking up slightly from the comfort of Nana's embrace, I could see Arwen, Elladan, and Elrohir gathered around us, each of them with tears of their own.   
  
Looking past them, I saw that Ada had not moved from his chair. His eyes were fixed on something past us, though I could not see what. One emotion filled his gaze. Anger. Ada was very angry.   
  
He pushed his chair back abruptly and brought himself to his feet. Walking towards the entrance to the dining hall, he barely spared us a glance as he said curtly, "Come."  
  
None of us moved, at first. Nana's arms tightened around my still-trembling form when my siblings slowly backed away. Carefully, I could feel her standing up, but she did not let go of me. She carried me through the halls of Imladris as though I were a small babe again, my brothers and sister walking a half step behind us.  
  
Nana carried me into the family's private gardens, a place that had always been a source of joy and happiness. Many a celebration had occurred there. But celebrations of old were far from everyone's thoughts.  
  
When we arrived in the center of the clearing, Nana came to a halt. I then felt another set of hands come around me, pulling me gently away. I struggled feebly, not wanting to leave the safety of Nana's arms. I only stopped when I realized that it was Ada who now held me. Instinctively, I relaxed and tried to wrap my arms around his wider form.  
  
But Ada did not allow this to occur. Gently, he knelt down and set me on my own two feet. I stared into his eyes, hoping to find the love and comfort I had always seen in them. Instead, I saw only the eyes of the Lord of Imladris. Ada was nowhere to be found.  
  
"Remember that you are a Daughter of Imladris, the granddaughter of the Lady of Lothlórien. Destiny requires much of you, and you must follow its edict."  
  
He did not give me a chance to reply, nor did he give any indication he saw the helpless tears that still leaked out of my blue eyes. Instead, he quickly took me by the shoulders and turned me around, gently pushing me forward. A few feet away, the woman that had appeared in Ada's office the night before stood there, carrying an unusual staff.   
  
As I walked slowly towards her, our gazes locked. Her eyes were, to my surprise, a deep, dark red. They were emotionless.   
  
And in that moment, the meaning of what was happening truly dawned in my mind. She was taking me away from an ada that no longer loved me. I had been bad, so she was taking me away.  
  
I stopped, turned, and looked back. Nana was still crying, my brothers and sister clinging to her, trying to be of some comfort. Ada stood away from them, a few feet forward, his face a blank slate; he showed no sentiment.   
  
Surprisingly, a wave of anger washed over my heart. Why was Ada sending me away? Why hadn't he told me I had been bad? There was no way for that question to be answered now. He no longer loved me. I should just accept that.  
  
Turning back, I stalked forward and came up to Senshi Pluto. She calmly held out her hand to me and I took it without hesitation. I was resolved to trouble Ada no further.  
  
Before we vanished, I managed to lock gazes with Ada one last time. I kept all pain from my face, instead showing my anger and feelings of betrayal. He was forcing me to leave Nana and my siblings. I would have him bear the burden of that knowledge forever.  
  
It was then that the memory of that day ended, but the Time Gate saw fit to show me what occurred after Pluto and I vanished. Nana broke into even louder wails and her knees gave way. Only the strength of her sons and remaining daughter kept her on her feet.  
  
But Ada had no such support. He himself sank to his knees, his dark eyes still riveted on where Pluto and I had stood, silent tears long held back now flowing down his smooth cheeks.  
  
It was on that anguished expression that the Time Gate closed my view of what had happened so long ago. I did see a few brief flashes of Ada's face just before it shut itself. In almost every one of them, his eyes were severe, his gentle smile gone, the lines on his countenance more prominent. He looked haunted, to be frank.  
  
After having all those memories flood my mind, it was a miracle I was still conscious. But once the Gate closed, the first thing I was aware of was a mockery of my own voice, letting out gut-wrenching sobs. Only one word could be distinguished through my hysterical tears.  
  
"Ada."  
  
I understood. The Senshi had always said that whenever I became Princess Serenity, there was something different about me. Something cold, ethereal, untouchable. I had always assumed that it came from the upbringing I had received on the Moon, the knowledge I contained. And, in a way, it was.  
  
For the first hundred years that I lived on the Moon, I was cold and distant. I was angry at everyone. Ada, for sending me there. The Queen, for requiring a daughter as an heir to her precious throne. Pluto, who had hidden my pointed ears and had changed my white-blond hair, something I'd inherited from my mother's line, to more of a gold color. I despised that, as well as the fact that my blue eyes had been darkened. Pluto, in my eyes, was destroying Elissien Nimithil, the daughter of Elrond and Celebrían, to replace her with her own image of a girl who did not exist.  
  
Yes, I understood. Serenity was not my identity from the Silver Millennium. Elissien Nimithil I had been born, and Elissien Nimithil I remained until the day Beryl destroyed the kingdom. Serenity was merely a disguise, a façade used for the sake of politics regarding the succession of the Moon Throne. It meant nothing to me.  
  
Over time, I lost my anger towards Queen Serenity, even coming to call her Mother after a time. I know a part of her wished I would call her Mama, or something less formal, but Nana meant Mama in her language and I refused replace one woman with the other. I would not enact such a betrayal on the one who gave birth to me.  
  
My Senshi knew nothing of my origins. They knew me only as the Princess they swore to protect and, later, as their treasured friend. I did not tell them either, for, by then, I had grown accustomed to keeping my silence of my home.  
  
And so time passed. For two hundred more years, I lived in peace and contentment on the Moon, spending my time enjoying myself with the Senshi and learning statecraft with Mother.  
  
But all that changed when, out of curiosity, I ventured down to Earth. But that is a story already told and well-known to many.  
  
Now, where was I? My thoughts lead me down many roads when they are my only companions. Ah, yes, the aftermath of Pluto's revelations…  
  
After the Time Gates shut, my pent-up emotions flooded forth. The agony of losing my parents and Shingo burst out of the walls I'd placed around it. Mingling with an old pain that had never truly healed.  
  
And so, I wept in Endymion's arms, lamenting Fate's cruel hand.  
  
It wasn't until after I had finally calmed that Pluto spoke to me. Endymion had curbed his questions in the face of my emotional collapse, comforting me as best he could. But when my tears stopped and my eyes fell yet again on the Senshi of Time, he turned to her as well.  
  
Pluto knelt down in front of us, her dark eyes locked with mine. Softly, she spoke to me in Sindarin, my home language. The meaning of her words flowed through my mind like a river, soothing me.  
  
"Fear not, Elissien Nimithil, daughter of Elrond. You will see Imladris and those you love before your time is gone. You will return home. This I swear."  
  
So long ago, Pluto spoke those words to me, a healing balm on my weary and torn heart. Through what had been revealed, I was able to allow the memory of my parents and Shingo to rest in peace and carry on with my life. I was able to return to Crystal Tokyo and take up my duties as queen, as well as those of wife and friend.   
  
Endymion and I discussed what Pluto had shown us at length, though we never told the rest of the Senshi. He had wanted to, but I never felt comfortable with the idea of telling them that I had not been born the daughter of Serenity. Though I knew it would change nothing in their eyes, I felt in my heart that this should remain between Pluto, Endymion, and myself. And so when Small Lady arrived, she only knew of her father's family, my parents, my brother, and Mother. I told her nothing of the grandparents, uncles, aunt, and hosts of other kin that still lay in both Middle-Earth and Valinor. I think, even then, I somehow sensed that my only child would not live to see them.  
  
And now, as I have stated, all of them are gone. Even Pluto has succumbed to the eternal rest of death. My daughter, who should have inherited my own immortality, forsook it in the final stages of the Great War, the final sacrifice to be made for victory. As for Endymion, my dear, sweet husband, he himself fell in battle, saving me. And this is something I have borne with a great pain. I miss him terribly.  
  
Time has passed, as it always does. It has been now five thousand years since Pluto took me from Imladris as a child. Many times have I died and been reborn since then, but deep inside my heart, I have never truly forgotten those I have left behind.   
  
And now it is time I returned to them. For many years, I have stood watch over this place, protecting it from horrors it was not yet ready to see. Now, however, it is time for those who live here to stand on their own two feet and fight for what they love. I have played the hand Fate dealt me and won. Now I will collect my winnings. I am going home.  
  
As I stand before the Time Gate, staring at the scene before me, I wonder if Ada will recognize me. No longer am I the little girl with the white blond hair and sparkling blue eyes of Nana's line. If anything, I have come to resemble Mother now with silver hair and grayish-lavender eyes. I know not if my looks will return to what they had once been, or if they are gone forever. And time, I have discovered, passes far more slowly there than it does here. For those in Middle-Earth, a mere fifteen hundred years have passed since my departure, a mere moment to my five thousand.  
  
Hopefully, it will not matter. My heart calls to Ada. Perhaps he will hear the call and recognize it for what it truly is.  
  
Without further thought, I step through the Gate-  
  
-and see a white-hot light envelop me.  
  
The next thing I see when my eyes open are a pair of dark eyes but a few feet away, staring at me. Eyes that are now familiar, though they were never truly forgotten. Emotions flitter through them. Wariness, suspicion, confusion, and a host of others that I do not believe I need to mention. One word slips from my parched lips.  
  
"Ada…"  
  
Said eyes widen, surprise, and then realization, coming through them, as well as hope and-dare I say it-joy.  
  
"Elissien."  
  
And not another second passes when Ada surges forwards and tugs me into his arms. He knows. He knows who I am. He recognizes me. Thank the Valar. My ada knows who I am, though I am different from the baby girl he once beheld.  
  
I can hear him whispering my name and his love for me over and over in my ear. Closing my eyes, I clutch him even more tightly. Words alone could never express how much we love one another. But even as I listen to his attempts to do so, I know that it is still a wonderful thing to hear.  
  
A warm, comforting feeling begins to spread in my heart. Already, the wounds inflicted so long ago are beginning to heal, right now when Ada merely holds me in his arms. Much will need to be said before the healing is completed, but for now, this is a start. And I am content for this moment.  
  
I shan't ever forget those I knew. Mother, Endymion, Small Lady, the Senshi. I loved each and every one of them. But they always told me that they never wanted me to suffer the horrors of being alone for the rest of time.   
  
I wonder if the Senshi knew of the family that I had left behind, though I never told them. Endymion… Could he have told them? Could he have told them of the family I was forced to abandon for the sake of Fate and Destiny's game? Or could it have been Pluto?   
  
I doubt I shall ever know, but in the end, does it truly matter? They did not wish for me to be alone after they were gone, and now, I am not. I am safe back in the arms of the parent who loved me and tortured himself daily because he could not protect me. And he loves me still.  
  
"Ada, I love you."  
  
I felt his body shudder against mine. Was Ada crying? I felt wetness against my own cheeks. We were both crying. I did not care. I was in Ada's arms, where I belonged.  
  
I felt one arm come around my shoulder and the other under my knees. As Ada carried me in the house, I rested my head against his shoulder, still not opening my eyes. Sleep was slowly overcoming me, and I made no move to fight against it. This would undoubtedly be the best sleep I'd had in years.  
  
After all, a person sleeps best when they're in their home. And my heart was humming with sheer happiness and joy. I was home at last.  
  
  
  
Please review! Let me know what you think! No flames please!  
  
Isilaráto 


	2. Holiday

Holiday  
  
Author: Isilaráto  
  
Disclaimer: 'Lord of the Rings' and 'Sailor Moon' are property of their respective owners. I make no claim of ownership. No copyright infringement intended.  
  
Summary: Christmas and Hope are intermingled. See the results in Imladris as Christmas miracles do happen.  
  
Status: Complete  
  
Part: 1/1  
  
Prequel: 'Where My Heart Sings'  
  
-----  
  
I watched the sleeping child before me, carefully smoothing the blankets over his tiny form. He was a striking boy, no doubt due to the blood of Númenor that still ran true in his veins. There was no doubt in my mind that he would one day be as handsome as his forbearers had been.  
  
And yet, even as the peacefulness of sleep came over his features, a cloud of sadness still hung about him. His forehead twitched, creases appearing. I sighed softly. I would have to remain close by, for it appeared that the young boy was in for another evening of nightmares.  
  
Reaching up, I brushed my fingers over his forehead, moving his hair from his face. The creases faded slightly and he calmed. Nodding in satisfaction, I gently stood, cautious at disturbing him. When he did not wake, I exited the child's set of rooms, shutting the door softly.  
  
The halls that held Imladris's residents were often dimly lit, so as not to send light spilling into everyone's private chambers to keep them awake. This was true tonight, just like every other evening. I made my way through the halls, ending my journey in Ada's study.  
  
Looking around, I found him sitting in a comfortable chair by the roaring fire, his eyes on the page of a large tome that lay in his hands. I smiled at the image before me, then glanced to my left when I heard the wind rattle the glass that had been put up on his balcony for the winter. Shivering slightly, I stepped forward and lowered myself down next to Ada's chair, resting my chin on the armrest.  
  
He did not look up from the book, but did lay one slim-fingered hand on my head, absently smoothing my blond hair. For a moment, I remembered my relief when my hair and eyes had returned to the colors of which I had been born with, allowing the silver hair and grayish-lavender eyes to fade back from wherever they had come. In my mind, my former appearance had been a painful reminder for Ada, forcing him to recall our long years apart from one another. And after all we had both endured, I had no wish for their to be any further torment between us. It had not taken long, merely a year or so after my arrival. In the nine and two hundred years since then, I had been Elissien Nimithil once more. So, feeling his warm and gentle hand upon my head, I smiled contentedly, feeling as if I were a small child once more.  
  
"Did you put Estel to bed?"  
  
Ada's inquiry brought me out of my wandering thoughts and my eyes darted up to stare into his. "Mm," I mumbled affirmatively. "I think I shall stay awake for a while and read. His sleep seems troubled."  
  
A frown crossed his smooth features. "Nightmares again," he stated, his brow furrowing.  
  
I nodded. "I too had thought they had finally gone, but in the past few nights, they've returned. Last night, he awoke crying for his mother. It took me nearly an hour to calm him and help him fall asleep again." I sighed. "I now know what Endymion went through with Small Lady. She always clung to him whenever she had a night fright. He made it seem so simple."  
  
"Raising a child is anything but simple, my daughter," Ada replied, a small smile coming onto his lips as he again slid his hand over my hair. A feeling of contentment infiltrated my senses as I allowed his words to seep through me. Ada was right of course. And he knew what he was speaking of. He and Nana had raised four children. For Eru's sake, tales of what Elladan and Elrohir did as young elflings were still legendary throughout both Imladris and Lothlórien.  
  
But Estel, as I was well aware, was no Elf child. He descended from Ada's brother Elros, my uncle, but he was of the race of Men. It was something I was reminded of daily. And yet, despite the knowledge he would one day embrace the Valar's gift to his people, I found myself growing more and more attached to him as the days passed us by.  
  
Perhaps I was setting myself into a position to feel the loss of another child, as Ada told me often enough, but I still did nothing to stop it. Children have always been dear to me, and I refuse to turn my back on one. Especially one that is of my own kin. I-  
  
All thoughts of mine came to an abrupt and frightening end when I heard a shrill scream that chilled the blood that flowed in my veins. Then pure instinct took over.  
  
I jumped up from my position on the floor and rushed out of the room, not even bothering to wait to see if Ada would follow. I waived all decorum expected of the Lady of Imladris, lifting my skirts and bolting down the halls at a dead run. The cries that echoed through the house had awakened something within me and I would suffer no one who attempted to stand in my way.  
  
What might have been moments or minutes later, I am unsure, I came upon Estel's rooms. Throwing the doors open, I rushed towards his bed. I could see his slight form, thrashing wildly in the bed. I could hear his shouts of denial and for his mother. I winced, but kept coming. Gilraen was gone, having succumbed to her grief and joined Arathorn in what lies beyond death for the race of Men. The two that gave Estel life were gone, leaving him in the care of an Elven Lord who was, in my opinion, hesitant to show him affection, and his daughter, who had not cared for a child in over a thousand years.   
  
Seating myself on the edge of the bed, I quickly pulled the struggling Estel into my arms, hugging him to my body tightly. I stroked his hair and whispered soothingly to him, allowing my maternal instincts, long dormant, to flood forth to him.  
  
"Shh, it is alright, child. You are safe. You're alright," I repeated over and over softly, rocking him gently. Estel's arms came to wrap around me as he continued to cry.  
  
Eventually, however, he calmed and drew himself back. His eyes did not meet mine as he scooted away from my embrace. When he spoke, it was with his child's lisp and barely discernable.  
  
"I sowwy, Lady 'Lissien. I no' mea' to be bad."  
  
Reaching forward, I laid one finger beneath his bent chin and lifted his head up so that his eyes would lock with mine.  
  
"Young one," I said quietly, "'Tis not your fault. We all have nightmares. You are not the first to suffer form them, nor shall you be the last. Now, tell me, what happened in your mind this time?"  
  
Estel's eyes flittered from my face to something behind me, uncertainty in his gaze. I did not have to turn to know that Ada had indeed followed me in my haste to reach the child's rooms.   
  
'He is afraid to displease Ada,' I thought, marveling at the boy's hesitation. 'He should feel free to seek comfort like any other child, and yet this one's first thought is if he will offend his hosts. The world is a cruel place if it takes away innocence at such tender years.'  
  
What Estel saw in Ada's face, I never knew, but there must have been some measure of encouragement, for the boy soon began to speak haltingly.  
  
"O'cs… they gwowled and had cwaws…" Fresh tears filled his eyes as he looked up at me. "They took Momma 'n Poppa away…"  
  
Closing my eyes, I gently pulled him back into my lap. "Oh, Estel," I crooned, again stroking his head. "I'm sorry, little one. It's all right it was just a dream. The orcs cannot harm you here. You are safe in Imladris with Ada and I."  
  
I heard him mumble a faint, "Tank 'ou, 'ady." He was falling back to sleep. I sighed. The poor boy. He hadn't had a sufficient night's sleep in almost a week, when the nightmares had begun again.  
  
I said nothing of this at the moment, however, contenting myself with merely rocking Estel until I was sure he was asleep. I laid him back against the pillows with care. He barely reacted, so deep was his exhaustion. As I stood, I sent a brief prayer to Irmo, asking that his rest remain undisturbed for the remainder of the night. Before making to leave the room, I placed a brief kiss on Estel's forehead.  
  
I turned to leave and found Ada standing naught but a few feet from the bed, his dark eyes darting between Estel's slumbering form and myself, his expression inscrutable. Inwardly, I groaned. Something in me foretold of yet another scolding on the subject of allowing Estel to become too dear to me. I, of course, would reply with what I said every other time, that children are meant to be cherished, no matter their race, no matter how long they resided on the earth before growing into mature adults.  
  
And Estel should be especially cherished, knowing his heritage, the burdens that would one day be placed upon his shoulders.  
  
Shivering slightly, though I knew not why, I followed Ada from the room. We did not return to his study, instead going to his private sitting room not far from Estel's chambers.   
  
Before he could open his mouth, I spoke up the moment the door slid shut. "I know what it is you will say, Ada, and my response remains the same. I care not that Estel will one day leave to whatever lies beyond death for the race of Men. I care not that he is descended from the one you call Isildur the Betrayer. Children I have always treasured, and treasure them I always will."   
  
For several moments, Ada said nothing in response to my outburst. He moved to sit on a nearby settee, a great weariness seeming to settle over his shoulders. "Elissien… I do not wish for you to feel the pain of losing him."  
  
My stubborn and harsh gaze softened, both sympathy and pain filling me. "It is too late for that, Ada. Small Lady died in my arms. Nothing can surpass such an ordeal. But… what kind of person would I be if I turned my back on a child that needed comfort. He's been through enough pain. I will not add to the mix. I couldn't live with myself."  
  
Ada nodded, a vacant look entering into his eyes as they drifted to gaze into the fire. I turned to look out the glass-covered windows. The wind still howled beyond them, whipping through the leafless trees. I could never recall snow coming down in Imladris, but at the moment, the conditions seemed to be perfect for it. I smiled nostalgically. It was too bad…  
  
When Ada asked what was unfortunate, I realized only then that I had spoken aloud.  
  
Looking at him briefly, my eyes drifted back towards what lay outside. "It's December twenty-first," I elaborated. "In just a few days, it will be Christmas, a celebration that occurred every year back in Tokyo. And at this time, it was usually snowing, giving the children what we called a 'White Christmas.'"  
  
"And what, pray tell, does this Christmas celebrate?"  
  
I did not answer at first. Instead took my time seating myself next to him, carefully arranging my skirts. Then patiently, I began to explain the concept of Jesus Christ, his mother, Mary, and everything I knew about the subject. Thinking back, Ami probably would have done a far better job in enlightening Ada on the topic, but I did the best I could.  
  
"And so," I finished, "On December twenty-fifth, children wake up in the morning to open presents put under their Christmas tree. The holiday has evolved over time since the birth of Christ, obviously."  
  
Ada nodded, his expression thoughtful. "Interesting," he said. "I see that world had more to offer than I thought. Are there other such beliefs there?"  
  
"Yes," I affirmed. Silently, I wondered why I had never told Ada any of this before. In fact, I rarely spoke of Tokyo and anything associated with it. Granted, I'd told him about Endymion, his son-in-law, Small Lady, his grandchild, and the Senshi, but that was all. Details of life there hadn't seemed important. Ada, I think, was just relieved that I was home and did not want to question anything of the world that had taken me from him. "There are many religions there, Islam, Judaism, just to name one or two."  
  
I paused briefly, then leaned to rest my head on Ada's shoulder. Automatically, his arm came up to wrap itself around my shoulders, pulling me closer to him. "We always celebrated Christmas in Crystal Tokyo. Small Lady loved it. She would come into our room before dawn, every year without fail, and jump on our bed, demanding we rise. After several years of such occurrences, Endymion and I finally laid a rule down, insisting that she not bid us to wake before six in the morning."  
  
I closed my eyes briefly, savoring the memories. I could still hear my Small Lady's laughter as she tore into her presents, feel my own content smile as I snuggled into Endymion's arms as we observed her obvious delight. The memory no longer brought me pain, only a sense of nostalgia. I had ceased to celebrate Christmas when Small Lady had died of old age in my very arms…  
  
My eyes shot open, the idea planted in my thoughts. I lifted my head and stared at the fire, then to Ada's face, who was staring at me in confusion, most likely wondering why I had pulled away from him. Looking at him, his gaze immediately became wary and I smothered my laughter. He knew I was up to something already. How well he could predict my thoughts!  
  
"Ada," I said, my voice sounding, if I may say so without seeming arrogant, perfectly innocent. I could almost hear Minako's insane laughter echoing through my mind.  
  
One of his delicate eyebrows rose, a bit of something akin to amusement entering his dark eyes. "Yes, Elissien Nimithil? What is it you wish?"   
  
He was using my title. This could mean one of two things. First, Ada could have decided to err on the side of caution and was merely humoring me. Or he truly was interested in what I was about to request. Well, in either case, I had to ask. This was for Estel as much as myself.  
  
"Would you mind terribly if we held a Christmas celebration in Imladrs," I inquired. "I think it would be good for Estel. It should, I think, give him a happy matter to dwell on, instead of recalling nightmares that refuse to release the horror of his parents' deaths."  
  
Ada remained silent, his eyes still locked to mine. He seemed to be waiting for something else…  
  
…and I found my voice speaking again, though this time not of my own will. "And… I think I wish to remember how much Small Lady loved Christmas by celebrate it once more. I… believe I am able to bear it now."  
  
After another brief moment of silence, Ada finally nodded. "Very well, my daughter, we shall make merry over the holiday my grandchild so enjoyed. I am certain Glorfindel and Erestor would be delighted to assist you in the preparations. Both of them have always enjoyed parties."  
  
My lips blossomed into a large smile and I took Ada's hand and brought it up to my cheek. I then turned my face so my lips would brush his hand lightly. "You are the most wonderful ada in all of Middle-Earth," I whispered reverently, tears blooming in my eyes. I then, without ceremony, flung my arms around him and buried my face in the crook of his neck. I felt Ada's strong arms wrap around me and for a time we stayed there. Soon, however, I pulled away from him and pushed myself to my feet, quickly straightening my skirts.  
  
"I must go," I said absently, moving towards the door. "I need to find Glorfindel and Erestor and tell them what is needed. I-"  
  
"Elissien," Ada cut in, not allowing me to finish. I turned back to him, surprised.  
  
He continued dryly, "As fond as Glorfindel is of you and though I am certain he would be delighted to help you with this new form of merrymaking, I sincerely doubt he or Erestor would appreciate you waking them as your daughter woke you and your husband on Christmas morning. It is far too late. I think it would be best if you began in the morning."  
  
My eyes flitted from Ada to the window. Indeed, the darkness of night was still in dominance of the world. I felt my face grow warm and I giggled sheepishly.  
  
"I see you are correct, Ada. I suppose I shall leave them to their rest for now. Good night, Ada."  
  
As I left the room, I heard his smile in his voice. "Good night to you, my daughter."  
  
---  
  
The next few days were quite chaotic. While Ada kept Estel distracted with various assignments and games, Glorfindel, Erestor, and I darted about Imladris, pulling the party together. Erestor occupied the kitchens, directing the cooks to prepare as much food as possible, especially sweets. Glorfindel, being the kind Elf he was, gallantly volunteered to gather gifts for Estel while I supervised the decorating of the Hall of Fire. I was especially grateful to him because, to be frank, I was quite at a loss as to what to give a young boy for Christmas. Glorfindel received an appreciative kiss on the cheek for being so sweet.  
  
By December twenty-fourth, I had gone nearly forty-eight hours without sleeping. Decorating had provided a… unique set of challenges. Elves abhor the concept of cutting down trees, so I had been forced to improvise on a location for Estel's gifts.  
  
I'd also had to work with the minstrels in instructing them how to play Christmas Carols on their lyres, flutes, and harps. It was then I truly wished I had listened more carefully to Michiru and her instructions on how to explain the notes of different pieces of music.   
  
But as Christmas Eve arrived and the party began to take hold, I found myself actually able to relax slightly. Ada and I brought Estel in and he was immediately enthralled with the sights before him. It was the first time he had ever attended a celebration in Imladris and thus it was a new experience for him. Glorfindel took him by the hand and led him to where the gorgeous food was displayed, Erestor standing nearby, a proud expression on his face. And he had good cause to be filled with pride. The fact that the three of us were able to bring this together with so little time to prepare was indeed proof that Christmas miracles do occur.  
  
I watched Estel from Ada's side and, remarkably, I felt a pang of loneliness. My siblings were not hear to take part in this wonderful celebration. Christmas was, after all, about being together with one's family. But of the line of Eärendil, only Ada, Estel, and myself were present. Nana, who had married into the line, was gone from us. Though my siblings had come home when I had returned, they had not stayed long. My brothers seemed unable to resist the call to ride forth from our beautiful home to sleep in the wilds and hunt down the accursed Orcs, and Arwen, it seemed, longed to return to Lothlórien and its Lord and Lady. Home did not call to their hearts as it did mine.  
  
But when I saw Estel's elated and happy face, I was able to push aside my sudden bout of melancholy and enjoy myself. And so the Elves of Imladris enjoyed their first Christmas, contentedly watching their Lord's ward rip into the presents that had been prepared for him. And as Ada sat next to me, both of us watching him, I felt a sense of true peace come over me. Though my siblings were not present, I could feel the presence of Small Lady, Endymion, and the Senshi, gathered around me. Perhaps, wherever the spirits of Man go after death, they are having their own Christmas celebration. And they are watching, smiling at seeing me finally able to carry on the tradition that was begun so long ago.  
  
Some time later, after Estel had shown everyone his gifts to his satisfaction, he climbed up into my lap, nibbling on a sweet given to him, no doubt, by one of the maidens who would refuse him nothing, even so close to his bedtime.   
  
The minstrels had been playing various melodies throughout the evening, mostly Elvish songs that reflected the time of celebration. But now, they began to play the melodies of the Christmas Carols I had given them.  
  
"Lady 'Lissien," Estel said, his eyes sparkling with wonder as he gazed at the minstrels, "I never heard those songs before. What are they?"  
  
Smiling at him, I explained, "They're what some call 'Christmas Carols,' young one. The minstrels learned a few of them and are playing them in honor of this night. Some even have words, but in a language that no one would recognize."  
  
He looked up at me, his eyes drifting back and forth from the minstrels to my face. After a moment, he asked, "Will you sing?"  
  
I looked down at him, then to Ada, who was listening to our conversation with avid interest. "Indeed, my daughter, sing us the words of these melodies."  
  
I have never truly had faith in my musical abilities. The fiasco with Michiru's violin was enough proof, as was the few times I actually tried to sing, that my talents did not lie in the artistic direction. But the eyes of nearly everyone in the room were on me, giving me not a choice. Sighing slightly, I nodded.  
  
The minstrels began one a new tune, one I immediately recognized.  
  
"Away in a manger, no crib for a bed  
  
The little Lord Jesus laid down his sweet head  
  
The stars in the sky looked down where he lay  
  
The little Lord Jesus asleep on the hay  
  
The cattle are lowing, the baby awakes  
  
But little Lord Jesus no crying he makes  
  
I love thee, Lord Jesus! Look down from the sky  
  
And stay by my side until morning is nigh  
  
Hear me Lord Jesus, I ask thee to stay  
  
Close by me forever and love me I pray  
  
Blessed are the dear children in thy tender care  
  
And fit us for Heaven to live with thee there…"  
  
There was a brief silence as the song ended and I only discreetly waved to the minstrels. I had no wish to see the pained looks on the faces of everyone, just as it had been back then. They quickly began to play an Elvish tune, therefore distracting everyone from me.  
  
When I finally dared to look up, I found Estel gazing at me in something akin to awe and Ada smiling softly, a look of pride on his face. Calling to the minstrels, he bade them, "Play another! I wish to hear my daughter's fair voice grace the room once again! I understand little of what the words indicate, but their sound is pleasing to many an ear!"  
  
I would have shushed him, but the minstrels answered their lord's command without delay. Gone was the Elvish song, only to be replaced with another Christmas Carol, this one much faster paced than the first. Giving him a glance, I opened my mouth again.  
  
"Just hear those sleigh bells jingling   
  
Ring ting tingling too   
  
Come on, it's lovely weather   
  
For a sleigh ride together with you  
  
Outside the snow is falling   
  
And friends are calling "You Hoo"   
  
Come on, it's lovely weather   
  
For a sleigh ride together with you  
  
Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap let's go   
  
Let's look at the snow   
  
We're riding in a wonderland of snow   
  
Giddy-yap giddy-yap giddy-yap it's grand   
  
Just holding your hand   
  
We're gliding along with the song   
  
Of a wintry fairy land  
  
Our cheeks are nice and rosy   
  
And comfy cozy are we   
  
We're snuggled up together like two   
  
Birds of a feather would be   
  
Let's take the road before us   
  
And sing a chorus or two   
  
Come on, it's lovely weather   
  
For a sleigh ride together with you  
  
There's a birthday party at the home of Farmer Gray   
  
It'll be the perfect ending of a perfect day   
  
We'll be singing the songs we love to sing without a single stop   
  
At the fireplace while we watch the chestnuts pop   
  
Pop! Pop! Pop!   
  
There's a happy feeling nothing in the world can buy   
  
When they pass around the coffee and the pumpkin pie   
  
It'll nearly be like a picture print by Currier and Ives  
  
These wonderful things are the things   
  
We remember all through our lives   
  
Just here those sleigh bells jingling  
  
Ring ting tingling too  
  
Come on it's lovely weather   
  
For a sleigh ride together with you  
  
Outside the snow is falling  
  
And friends are calling "You Hoo"  
  
Come on it's lovely weather  
  
For a sleigh ride together with you  
  
It's lovely weather  
  
For a sleigh ride together with you  
  
It's lovely weather  
  
For a sleigh ride together with you…"  
  
The ending brought about polite applause from the Elves that were still present in the Hall. Estel was smiling happily, though I could see his eyes drooping. Exhaustion was overtaking him. There was one last Carol for the minstrels to play, and as it was similar to 'Away in a Manger,' I knew it would put him to sleep. He'd enjoyed himself greatly, but now he needed to rest.  
  
"Lady 'Lissien," came Estel's slightly muffled voice. I looked down and saw he was leaning against me heavily, his eyes nearly shut. But there was still a faint spark of alertness in his eyes that allowed him the ability to speak.  
  
"Yes, little one?"  
  
"D' you thin' Momma 'n Poppa woul' mind if I call' you 'n Lor' 'Lrond Nana 'n Ada…"  
  
My eyes widened in surprise and slid towards Ada. He too looked shocked, but there was something else in his eyes… Was he going against his own advice? The suggestion that one not get too attached to a person's whose life was so brief in the eyes of the Elves? A smile pulled at my lips. Ada loved the child in my arms, just as much as I did. Turning my gaze back to the boy in my lap, I gave him my response.  
  
"Estel, I do not think they would mind. They know you will always love them and never forget them, but I do not believe they would begrudge you for loving others as well," I said, gently stroking his back.  
  
The smile on his face was brighter than the morning dawn. Looking over to the minstrels, I gave them a nod. Estel needs his rest, and I think the final song would give him that. The nightmares would not plague him this night, of that I was adamant.  
  
"Silent night, holy night  
  
All is calm, all is bright  
  
'Round yon virgin mother and child  
  
Holy infant so tender and mild  
  
Sleep in heavenly peace  
  
Sleep in heavenly peace  
  
Silent night, holy night  
  
Shepherds quake at the sight  
  
Glories stream from heaven afar  
  
Heavenly hosts sing alleluia  
  
Jesus, Lord, at thy birth  
  
Jesus, Lord, at thy birth  
  
Silent night, holy night  
  
Son of God, love's pure light  
  
Radiant beams from thy holy face  
  
With the dawn of redeeming grace  
  
Christ, the Savior, is born!  
  
Christ, the Savior, is born!"  
  
I whispered the last few lines of the song, as Estel's head now leaned heavily against me. Sleep had completely overtaken him. Irmo, I think, will give him naught but happy dreams this night.   
  
Ada had stood by then, and carefully took the sleeping child from me, intending to carry him off to his bed. I moved to follow, but something caught my gaze.  
  
Or rather… *someone.*  
  
Glorfindel sat across the room, several maidens nearby, clearly fawning over him. That was no surprise. Many a maid vied for his attention. What was a surprise was that his clear blue eyes were locked on me. On *me.* Why was he staring at me so?  
  
Slowly, as if hearing my question, a smirk spread across his lips. With a devilish attitude, he raised his wine glass to me, clearly giving me a toast.   
  
I felt my face flush, but I did not move. What was Glorfindel doing to me? Just hours before, I had bestowed a kiss on his cheek, calling him one of the sweetest Elves I knew. But this Glorfindel, the one that was staring at me with a frank appraisal that I had seen only rarely in a male's eyes, there was nothing sweet about him. There was something more… dark, primal, perhaps. And I, like a stag, was caught in the cunning trap of the hunter.  
  
It was then I recalled Ada's words from several nights before. 'As fond as Glorfindel is of you…' We'd been discussing both Glorfindel and Erestor, but he had not included the second seneschal in that statement. Did Ada know something I did not?  
  
I would have to find out, if there was any chance of removing myself from Glorfindel's provocative gaze. I had been attempting to turn away from those piercing eyes, but always my eyes were drawn back to his. What was more, he knew it. His eyes sparkled… was that triumph I saw in them? If he was believing he had one a victory of some sort, I found I could do nothing to stop that notion. My body was on fire, tingling with anticipation.   
  
And as quickly as he had caught me, Glorfindel released me, turning his gaze to Erestor, who had come to speak with him on some matter. I fought to restrain a gasp, nearly staggering back into my chair. It had been as if Glorfindel had been physically restraining me, only to abruptly let me go, allowing my struggling momentum to carry me backwards. I still caught myself on the arm of the chair and managed to stay upright, my eyes glued now to Glorfindel's profile. He behaved as if nothing had occurred.   
  
I was torn between gratitude that the moment was over and could now be forgotten and anger that he appeared so unaffected, while I undoubtedly seemed to be a quivering, shaking mess. In determination, I grit my teeth. I would not have anyone see that the first seneschal had caused Imladris's Lady to lose her composure with a glance. I was thankful no one gave the impression of having seen the looks that had passed between us.  
  
Glorfindel's eyes were now flickering towards me again, but before he could catch me unawares again, I made to leave, my head held high. I would not be the stag to his hunter again. Not if it was in my power.  
  
But even as I left the Hall of Fire, a pleasant smile on my face for the sake of all those I passed by, I felt those striking blue orbs burning into my back the entire time. But the spell seemed to lift as I came to the hallway. It must have been the atmosphere of the hall, combined with the abundance of wine that flowed all evening, that had caused those passion-filled moments. The Hall of Fire was famous among Elves for causing feelings to ignite, only to have them extinguish the moment they left.   
  
I hurried down the halls toward Estel's rooms, doing my best to calm my raging emotions. When I arrived, I found Ada had already laid the sleeping child under his blankets and was pulling them up to his chin. I watched from the doorway as Ada leaned down and kissed him on the forehead, whispering, "Sleep well this night, my son. You have found your place. There is no need to fear."  
  
My heart's pounding almost completely faded when I heard those words, filling me with tenderness. I was witnessing the birth of a new family, and this was just as precious and holy as any other. And as Ada came towards me, I knew I had finally found peace. I leaned against him, my eyes still on Estel… my son. I knew Small Lady and the others were watching, and smiling. I was happy again, with Ada and Estel. Though my siblings were not here, I knew they loved me as I cherished them. We were, in a sense, all together.  
  
And that, I think, is the most wonderful Christmas miracle any could think to bestow. 


	3. Endgame

Endgame  
  
Author: Isilaráto  
  
Disclaimer: 'Lord of the Rings' and 'Sailor Moon' are property of their respective owners. I make no claim of ownership. No copyright infringement intended.  
  
Summary: When two people love, they risk their hearts for one another. When the daughter of Elrond and her father's seneschal love, the risks are all the greater…  
  
Status: Complete  
  
Part: 1/1  
  
Prequel: 'Where My Heart Sings,' 'Holiday'  
  
-----  
  
It is strange, how rapidly events can move to change the world. When you believe yourself to be perfectly grounded and safe, suddenly you find yourself adrift and uncertain.  
  
Glorfindel has been pursuing me for over twelve years now, ever since the night of Imladris's first Christmas festivity. What I had thought merely to be a case of temporary madness brought on by wine and the atmosphere of the Hall of Fire was actually a prelude to other, similar, moments.   
  
He treated it as a game, at first, making light of his seduction skills. I followed his example, for lack of knowing naught else to do. What he was doing did not frighten me nor did it serve to make me feel uncomfortable. I did my best to ignore the feelings he was igniting in my body, nay, my *soul.* The part of me I thought had died with my Endymion.  
  
This was the state of things for some time. Until it ceased to be a game to either of us. On this very day.  
  
The chain of events began in an all too familiar way. I was in the gardens, gathering several herbs for the healing rooms, when he happened by me. I hailed him absently, my mind on the work before me, but I did not mind so much when he stopped to sit next to me, watching me work. He spoke of the ordinary goings-on of Imladris, Estel's growing skill with the blade, the conflicts between various Elves that he often had to mediate between, and so on. I listened with one ear, my eyes still on the herbs that I was working with, and thus I did not notice Glorfindel slowly moving closer to me until he had sidled up to sit on the grass on my immediate right.  
  
When I noticed him, I turned to gaze at him, raising a questioning eyebrow. When he merely smiled guilelessly, I shrugged. 'Twas the first mistake I made, ignoring what my own instincts were telling me.  
  
I continued my work and didn't even bat an eye when I saw, out of the corner of my vision, Glorfindel begin to finger the end of one of the ribbons of my dress. I sent him a withering look, informing him vocally I would not be pleased if he damaged a dress sent to me from Lothlórien as a gift from my sister and grandmother.  
  
Glorfindel stopped amusing himself with the ribbon and just sat kneeling next to me. But even as I began to gather up the herbs and put them in the basket I had brought out with me, I felt Glorfindel's piercing gaze on me.  
  
I fought to keep myself from meeting his eyes, to be sure. I had learned through experience that to look at him meant I would quickly begin to lose control of myself and the situation. I soon began to all but throw the herbs into the basket with no regard for neatness. As much as I'd come to enjoy our little game, this was not the time. I had many duties to attend to around Imladris, not to mention Estel would soon be in the library for his lessons.  
  
Just as I was about to push myself to my feet, Glorfindel grabbed my hand, effectively stilling my erratic and half-panicked movements. I didn't try and free my hand, but I still did not look at him either. Instincts are hard to break.  
  
"Elissien," he said. "Look at me."  
  
Obligingly, my blue eyes darted towards him, but I still did not look at him directly in his eye. I heard him sigh, and then I felt his fingers brush my jaw and cheek. He gripped my chin gently, compelling me to turn to face him fully. When our gazes locked, I nearly flinched.   
  
Many times in the past, I'd marveled at the remarkable resemblance of Glorfindel's eyes to my husband's own blue orbs. But at that moment, I could have sworn I was staring at Endymion. I could almost see the garden of Imladris fade into the transparent structures of Crystal Tokyo.  
  
Still, that lasted but a moment, when Glorfindel spoke. His voice was smooth, running through me in a way that was different, but no less significant, than the emotions Endymion's voice caused. Glorfindel was similar to him, but still an entity unto himself.  
  
"What are we doing," he murmured absently, his fingers now stroking my face.  
  
I fought down a shiver of… something that ran through my body. My eyes still locked with his, I answered softly, "I know naught of which you speak."  
  
In hindsight, that should have been the moment I pulled away from his grasp. But hindsight is rarely a true help in matters such as these. I stayed where I was, allowing his fingers to brush over my skin, awakening my nerves to feelings they had not felt in what seemed like an Age. I could not pull my eyes away from those two cerulean pools that seemed to gaze upon my very soul.  
  
"This," Glorfindel attempted to clarify, waving his free hand vaguely before it joined its mate in the exploration of my features. Even in this change, I felt no compulsion to stop him. "This game we have been playing for the past twelve years. Why have we been doing so?"  
  
I swallowed past the growing lump in my throat, and hoping my voice would not sound too terribly strained, I said to him, "Do you not know? You are the one who began it and pursued it over these years. I have not my grandmother's gift for reading the hearts of others. I cannot know what goes through your mind."  
  
A small smirk twitched at his lips and I clamped down the urge to chase it away with my own mouth. "You have allowed the game to come this far, my Nimithil. If you truly had not wished it to come to this, putting a stop to it was something you would have done long ago."  
  
His hands had been wandering during our strange conversing. Traveling from my face, one had lost itself in my hair, which I had left unbound earlier that morning. The other had brushed its thumb over my cheek before moving down to my shoulder and then my arm, creating a feeling of fire that followed in its path.  
  
"*Your* Nimithil," I whispered hoarsely, still managing to arch an eyebrow. None had ever dared to call me that, not even Ada. Nimithil was my title, given to me at my birth for the large Hunter's Moon that heralded my arrival. Point in fact; it also foretold my own fate. Rarely did anyone even mention it.  
  
And yet here was a man who was, for all intents and purposes, courting me, claiming me as his own. Even Endymion had known better than to attempt to make me into a possession to be obtained in a contest or some other foolishness.  
  
All the same, however, I felt no anger. Instead, my eyes finally drifted down to his hand. It had ended its torturous journey at my own hand, manipulating it until our hands were entwined together. There was something in that one gesture, some implication that resonated deep within my heart. A surge of emotions took hold of me and for the first time since Endymion had fallen in my defense all those years ago, I felt complete.  
  
While a cynical voice in my mind, borne of years of disappointments and tragedies, immediately questioned how I could feel like this, it was almost instantly brushed aside as inconsequential. A smile blossomed on my lips and as my eyes returned to his; I idly thought that if this was what would have happened if I'd made more eye-contact with him why had I waited so long?  
  
"Yes," I murmured quietly, "Perhaps I am yours. But if this is so, then you are mine."  
  
Glorfindel might have replied to my statement, had I let him. But I felt there had been enough of speaking. With a light giggle, I let myself fall back onto the grass beneath me, my momentum and our clasped hands pulling him down as well, right on top of me.  
  
Our lips met in fevered haste, as if we had both been starved for an indefinite period of time. While our two hands remained tangled together, our free hands ran through one another's hair, caressing each other's faces. Soon, however, my free arm went around his back, attempting to pull him closer to me however I could.   
  
Ai, I wonder if this is what it felt like to have the power of Mars flow through one's veins, for I felt as if I had been set ablaze in a holy fire. Our tongues touched and circled together in a dance as old as Eru himself and we clung to one another as if we had been set out in a turbulent sea with only each other to keep ourselves alive. I was torn between retreating from the feelings that churned inside of me or demanding more.  
  
The choice was taken from me, however, when I faintly heard the sound of familiar voice calling for me.  
  
"Nana? Are you out here? Nana!"  
  
Glorfindel and I must have had the same thought, for we broke apart at the exact same moment. Almost instantly, my body cried out at the loss of his delicious weight atop me, but I stoutly ignored it as I avoided his gaze, quickly grabbing my herbs. Without a glance at him, I struggled to my feet and hurried away, following the voice of my son.  
  
I found him rather quickly. The gardens were not so large that one could go for a length of time and not find the object of their search and I had no desire to explain to my own child why I was lying on the ground in Glorfindel's embrace.  
  
Plastering a pleasant expression onto my face, I said with forced cheerfulness, "Yes, Estel? What is it?"  
  
My son broke into a smile and he hurried toward me. He opened his mouth, obviously ready to speak his news, when he stopped and took in my appearance. My feigned ease had not fooled him.  
  
"Nana, why is your dress covered with grass stains? And your face is as red as the tomatoes you force me to eat. Is something wrong," he fairly demanded, his beautiful eyes narrowed suspiciously. Internally, I shook my head. Ever since he had begun to train with a sword, he had appointed himself my protector, ready to fight everything from dragons and Dark Lords to the pesky oddities that plagued my steps as I aided in the administration of Imladris. It was sweet, but with his protectiveness came his keen observation skills being focused on me.  
  
Scrambling for an excuse, I said as strongly as I was able, "Oh, I was just lying on the grass, enjoying the day. I'm rather afraid I dosed off for a brief time with nothing to shield my face from the sunlight. It is only temporary. It will fade," I assured him. "Now, what has sent you in search of me?"  
  
Estel stared at me, processing my words, and then he straightened. "Ada sent me to find you," he informed me. "He says that several letters have arrived from Lothlórien, many of them for you. He also told me to tell you that he has received word from several of the Rangers-" here his expression grew with excitement- "Your brothers and mine are coming from their errand that took them to the Grey Havens! They should be here within the next day or so!"  
  
I smiled indulgently as Estel took my hand and began to gently tug my arm, urging me to come with him. As he began to chatter on all he wanted to show Elladan and Elrohir that he had learned since their last visit to Imladris, I sought to bring my still rumbling emotions under control. If Estel had noticed my earlier unease in the space of moments, then Ada would undoubtedly notice before I was even granted entrance to his study.  
  
Later, after I had escaped the inscrutable gaze of Ada with my letters in hand and Estel had been sent to the library with stern instructions to work on his mathematics, I retreated to my chambers, intent on reading what Grandmother, Grandfather, and Arwen had to tell me of Lothlórien.  
  
I must say, I oft looked forward to reading Grandfather's letters. When I saw him after my return to Middle-earth, I found my childhood fears had little basis, for in the case of his family, he was as gentle as the evening breeze sweeping through my hair. In many ways, I think it was the blood I inherited from him that rang true in my veins. Many say I inherited my appearance from my Vanyar ancestress, Indis, the second wife of Finwë, but my personality came from Celeborn, kinsman of Thingol of Doriath, he who was the King of the Sindar Elves. It was his blood that caused me to have little interest in the Sea or jewelry, quite in contrast of the Noldor, who placed high importance on what lay beyond the Sea and on the jewels they crafted so eagerly.  
  
So, when I found myself to have a letter from Grandfather, I was eager to read it. Setting the other two letters, one from my grandmother and one from my sister, aside, I opened the third.  
  
And yet, when I held the parchment in my hand, my treacherous mind would not cooperate with my desire. Instead, my thoughts insisted on drifting back to what had occurred earlier in the day in the gardens. I could feel myself heating up once more, and not just in my face.  
  
For goodness sake, I attempted to chastise myself. What is this acting like a fluttery, flighty school girl?! One kiss does not a proposal make! I was married for over a thousand years! I have known the pleasures of the flesh, and yet with one kiss and a small tumble in the grass, I am reduced to behaving like an innocent maid who knows nothing of the world! What is wrong with me?!  
  
Sighing with both weariness and frustration, I chose not to attend supper in the dining room that night. Taking my meal in my room, I was able to avoid Glorfindel until I was in control of my rampant emotions. I wasn't about to face him-or anyone else-otherwise.  
  
After I finished the food I had been brought, I placed the try by the door and seated myself behind my desk. I had yet to read the letters from Lothlórien and despite the many distractions I faced in the solace of my mind, I longed to see the familiar scripts of my kin.  
  
Taking up the parchment that contained Grandfather's letter, I set it before me.  
  
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To Elissien Nimithil, daughter of Elrond, Lady of Imladris, beloved grandchild, greetings.  
  
Granddaughter, I write this with a sure hand, but an uneasy mind. Though for the past two years the Necromancer of Dol Guldur has been absent from his lair (I will not state his name, aloud or even on parchment), the shadows in the world continue to grow.  
  
Orcs, Elissien, continue to prowl the borders of Lothlórien. The Marchwarden and the guards keep them from entering too far into the forest, but this in itself is disturbing. But a few hundred years before, they would not have come within a league of the Golden Wood for fear of the power of this place. They grow bolder with each passing year.  
  
Rare is it to be known of Elves traveling to the South, into the kingdoms of Men, but the Istari still send news of what occurs there. Mordor and Gondor continue to battle one another ceaselessly, according to Mithrandir. I fear, at times, that the war will never end until all the world is covered in darkness.  
  
Enough of my fears, however. Know, dear child, that you are sorely missed here in the Golden Wood. Your grandmother, I am certain, dearly misses your company, as does your sister. When time permits, please, come to us.  
  
Farewell from Celeborn, Lord of Lothlórien, Grandfather  
  
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I looked up, gazing at the lengthening shadows. Long had I attempted to pay no heed to the growing darkness in Middle-earth, in the vain hope of believing I had found a place of peace. Ada was right. The only place such as that would be Valinor itself.  
  
Grandfather had never treated me as a child. He spoke of his fears and worries to me in this letter, showing his confidence in me as an adult. For that alone, I loved him wholeheartedly. I despised being treated as an ignorant child, incapable of understanding the world around me.  
  
I would have to write to him of my growing fears as well. The Dúnedain often brought news to Imladris, when they came to see to look in on their future Chieftain. They spoke of the dangers on the roads that grew as each year passed. And while that was nothing new to me, I was still filled with anxiety. In but another decade, my Estel would be of age. Then, as promised, he would go with the Dúnedain to learn their craft, just as his forefathers did before him.  
  
Biting my lip in an attempt to drive the fear from me, I took up Arwen's letter. As I hoped, her letter eased my fears. Her lighthearted words eased my soul as she spoke of her time amongst our mother's kindred. She delighted in the stories I had told her of my sweet Estel, biding that I congratulate him for her on his growing skills.  
  
With a content smile on my face, I at last picked up the letter my mother's mother had written to me.   
  
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To Elissien Nimithil of Imladris, I greet thee.  
  
Your grandfather has undoubtedly written to you, grandchild, of his growing fears of the darkness that slowly climbs over the land. And rightly he should feel wary. But this is not what I wish to speak of to you.  
  
Hope, for now, remains strong in those who stand against Sauron, daughter of my daughter. Though their numbers are small, the Dúnedain continue to guard the remains of the North-kingdom, waiting for the King to retake the throne of Arnor. Gondor continues to hold the forces of Mordor at bay, for now, and Rohan, ever watchful, continues to guard their flanks.   
  
The pieces are being moved across the board, Elissien, but there are other pieces, not just the armies and weapons, that few would take notice or account of. And it is often these pieces that will tip the balance of power, for good or for ill.   
  
I say this to you now because of the doubts and fears that most certainly plague you at this time. Estel's fate, his eventual departure from Imladris and the safety in which you keep him, as well as other things. But I tell you now, granddaughter, do not fear to take a chance upon these other pieces. Though they are unlooked for by you or by your opponent, they are there, waiting for their purpose to be revealed.  
  
Take a risk, Elissien. If it succeeds, which I believe it will, then the rewards will be unimaginable. And you will gain a peace and contentedness you have been lacking for so long.   
  
Trust these words. A very wise and knowing Maia spoke them to me long ago. I followed them and in so doing I have gained more than I have ever lost.  
  
Trust in this risk, and in your opponent. He will not betray you.  
  
Galadriel, Lady of Lothlórien, now closes this letter.  
  
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My hands were trembling violently as I dropped the parchment onto my desk as if it had burned my hand.   
  
I stared at the letter in shock. My mind swiveled in different directions, demanding first what Grandmother was talking about, then asking how she had known, and what business was it of hers? I closed my eyes against the onslaught.   
  
Long has it been since anyone has called me a fool. The Valar must know that the Senshi thought me a fool in our early days together and had no restraints in telling me so. Perhaps even Endymion thought so at times. But after a time, they ceased to do so, knowing I would follow the course I chose no matter what they had to say in the matter.  
  
But now, I felt like that young girl again, so unsure of everything around her, and yet strangely determined to follow a chosen route.  
  
Did I love him? Did I love Glorfindel as I loved Endymion? That I desired his touch upon me had been established. With Endymion there were the great desires of the flesh, but also I was content to merely sit in his arms in peace and contemplate our surroundings.   
  
But with Glorfindel, it was different. Or it seemed so, in any case. For so long we had played this little game, neither of us had ever attempted to sit in a comfortable silence. Too eager to play were we and we both failed to remember there is more to life than games.  
  
Should I attempt to rectify this oversight, I thought. Should I attempt to discover if I was able to love another as I loved Endymion? No desire did I have to spend my long years ahead of me alone.  
  
And yet I was afraid. I feared of hurting Endymion. Dead he was, but I knew he watched me. There were times I felt his presence nearby, a great sense of comfort to me. Thus I found myself at a fork in my path.  
  
If I took the first path, the one I thought to be clearer, my memory of Endymion would have no rival and I would have remained devoted to a ghost, an echo of what was, for the rest of my days unto the ending of the world. But it was safe.  
  
The other path, though, I saw to be more twisted than the first, its destination far from certain. Still, the rewards of this path are great, if all is to be well. Peace and love could very well await me on this path.  
  
A risk this is, as Grandmother stated. O wise Lady of the Golden Wood! Would that you were here to guide me further! But your part in this competition has been played. Now it is for me to finish. But perchance it shan't be finished alone…  
  
When the knock upon my door came, I jumped in shock, so deep my thoughts had been. Almost grateful for the interruption, I rose to answer the person waiting on the other side. I glanced at my surroundings to ensure I had everything on the tray I had left near the door, as I believed it was a servant come to return it to the kitchens.  
  
I opened the door, words of thanks upon my lips. And immediately, they died. A servant did not stand before me, as I had expected. Instead, the one I had sought to avoid this evening was who I beheld before me.  
  
Glorfindel's blue eyes held none of the gentle teasing that usually resided there. Instead they were dark in their somber appearance and seriousness. I froze like a frightened lamb under that gaze. It was different from what I had always seen from him, though I found it no less pleasing.   
  
"May I have your leave to enter, Lady Elissien," he spoke formally. His words were reserved and smooth, but I could still hear their desperateness in them. It was something I found I could not refuse.  
  
Opening the door wider, I silently bid him enter. As he swept past me, I noticed a piece of parchment being held tightly in his hand. I leaned against the now-shut door, eyeing him warily as he began to pace in front of me.  
  
"I received an interesting note from Lothlórien," he informed me. "It appears the Lady had words for me. She also told me she had sent word to you as well."  
  
I raised an eyebrow in surprise, my eyes once again falling on the parchment. Without having to be asked, Glorfindel immediately held it out to me. Taking it, I at once recognized the familiar writing style of my grandmother.  
  
I did not bother to read it, already having some idea of the contents. Instead, my blue gaze traveled up to meet Glorfindel's. "And what wisdom," I asked softly, "Does the Lady of Light give to you?"  
  
His eyes roved over my form and I did my best not to react. Soon enough, our eyes met again. Slowly, he spoke. "She bade me to be patient and gentle, since the one I desire, for all her good cheer and spirit, can be quite withdrawn due to the many losses she has suffered, no matter that she has made peace with them. The Lady said it must be her choice if this is to proceed any further. Only she can choose to risk all in this matter."  
  
I stared at him for a moment, and then allowed my eyes to flicker down to the parchment in my hand. Wise was the Lady, to perceive my thoughts so clearly. Interesting. I would one day have to ask her how she had done so.  
  
But now was not the time for such thoughts. I still had to be completely certain…  
  
"What do you say of the Lady's words?"  
  
He blinked, surprise coming across his handsome features. He remained silent, carefully appraising me. But at last, he answered. "I would agree with what the Lady has said to me. She is correct in saying the one I have come to care greatly for has been undergone great sorrows in the past, pains that can only heal under great care and gentleness. I would be the one to help her heal, if it be her will."  
  
This was what I desired to hear. A small smile blossomed onto my lips and I carefully stepped closer to him. Glorfindel did not move, he himself now acting like the spooked animal. Slowly, I came closer until I stood toe-to-toe with him. When he did not back away from me, I drew my arms up to wrap themselves lightly around his broad shoulders. Glorfindel stiffened briefly, but soon returned the embrace, wrapping his own strong arms around my waist, pulling me close to him.  
  
I closed my eyes, allowing his warmth, perhaps even the feelings he bore for me and I bore for him, to envelop my very being. As I clung to him, I suddenly felt, in the back of my mind, the appearance of someone nearby. A familiar presence.  
  
Endymion. The Senshi.  
  
Outwardly, I did not react. I merely waited, allowing them to make their own judgment. After what were either a few brief moments or hours, I do not know which, I felt approval surge through me. I could almost see Endymion smiling and almost hear Mars snort something about me taking long enough, as well as the dreamy sighs of Venus and Jupiter. Mercury must have been blushing, as she always did whenever faced with such a situation. Then their presences faded away, as they often did.  
  
My smile growing larger on my face, I opened my eyes. My head resting securely against Glorfindel's chest, I whispered, "Thank you." And not only was I thanking Endymion and the Senshi.  
  
"For what," I heard Glorfindel ask quietly.  
  
"For so much," I replied, snuggling deeper into his embrace for a moment, then leaning back to stare into his eyes. "For caring. For being willing to put up with me. So much."  
  
His chest rumbled as he laughed. I nearly joined him when I discovered it to be a ticklish sensation. "Then, my dear White Moon," he said to me, "I must thank you as well. For you are willing to endure me also."  
  
Impulsively, I pushed myself up on my toes and kissed him, therefore muffling his laughter. Our lips easily molded themselves to one another, but this kissed did not emphasize the hunger that had plagued us earlier that day. At least, it did not at this time. A rather wicked part of me smiled deviously, but I did not chastise it.  
  
The game had ended, not in a victory or a defeat for one side or the other, but in a mutual triumph shared by both sides. For that alone, I rejoiced.  
  
And when Glorfindel slowly began to back up towards the door of my inner chamber, I did not stop him. 


End file.
